Sedentarily Satirical: Isolation from health

Life has just been so tough lately, especially with quarantine requiring us to stay at home. Staying in this lockdown and being isolated from the outside world for the past few months has really changed my priorities.

Recently, my mother told me to go take a walk outside and get some sunlight for once, which is absolutely ridiculous. It’s like she doesn’t care at all about my safety. What if I get COVID-19 from someone walking on the other side of the street? Rather than taking a walk to get some exercise, it’s definitely best to just stay here in the safety of my home where I won’t be in contact with anyone else.

Since it’s dangerous to be outside, I hope we eventually find a way to leave our homes safely again. But until then, I’ll be spending all this free time playing some video games that I didn’t have the time to try out before the pandemic. Even though I spend seven hours playing “League of Legends” every day, it’s not like there’s anything better to do while stuck in my room.

I also have some homework that was assigned last week that I have to finish but I’ll get to it later. I have enough time to do it all tomorrow so, honestly, it’s fine. What’s the point of even trying to learn if every class is online? I’ll just wait until we go back to in-person school; everything will definitely make sense then.

And after class, I’m unable to go out and eat with my friends like I usually do, so instead I have to eat at home. After all, what better way is there to do my part in stopping the spread of the disease? I’ve also been keeping away from fruits and vegetables because they’ve been sitting exposed in the markets. While the CDC has no evidence of COVID-19 transmission being associated with food, there’s no harm in avoiding produce anyways. I’d rather be safe than sorry. When I don’t feel like taking the trouble of microwaving a meal, I just order fast food delivery to my house. It’s more convenient for me anyways.

Overall, quarantine has given me a lot of time to reflect on myself and spend more time doing the things that I want to do. It’s now midnight and I’ve decided to get started on the homework I mentioned earlier. Time sure does pass by quickly but I guess I’ll be spending the rest of tonight working on all the homework I procrastinated on up until now. 

Though I’ve been going to sleep at bizarre times like 3 a.m., it’s not like it’s my fault. How is time supposed to matter when I never have anywhere to go? Because of this schedule, I’ve been oversleeping and missing my online classes but that’s OK, these classes are really just a formality anyways. Meanwhile, I can just make up for the loss of sleep with a long, six-hour nap in the afternoon.

I’m sure that once this pandemic is over, I’ll effortlessly return to my normal lifestyle.