It is common knowledge that our planet is facing a severe environmental crisis, yet it seems like I am the only one who is trying to save mankind! From using only naturally sourced organic products to spreading awareness about environmental pollution in my community, I do my part in bettering our world.
As I climbed out of bed this morning, I reminded myself of my daily, green affirmations: “Save the turtles.” “Reduce, reuse, recycle.” “Bring your own tote bag to the grocery store.” Now, I was ready to begin my day.
I headed to the bathroom and indulged in an hour-long everything shower, per my usual routine. When the city water district informed us that thousands of people work hard to provide clean water to our community, I jumped at the opportunity to support my local small business by using as much water as possible. I scrubbed my whole body down with my vegan cocoa butter plant-based body wash, then completed my daily rice water hair-rinse treatment.
After all that, I brushed my teeth with my trusty bamboo toothbrush that has been with me since I was five. Yes, some bristles are gone and others are bent at a 90-degree angle. Yes, I always get offered breath mints. But, this treasure leaves me feeling like a sustainable queen and that’s all that matters. Finally squeaky clean, I finished my skincare routine with a natural mud mask straight from my backyard. I am SUCH a sucker for all things organic.
To prepare for the long day ahead of me, I went to pick up a green smoothie from my favorite budget-friendly grocery store, Erewhon. This smoothie is my life source; I can practically feel its chlorophyll coursing through my veins. I have been urging my friends to try this life-changing delicacy, but they always undermine my enthusiasm and devotion, calling me spoiled and delusional. They constantly remind me that we are in the middle of an economic crisis, but the Earth is going through a crisis too! No one seems to care about that–except me.
In my shiny, green Jeep named Greta, recently deep-cleaned and polished, I happily embarked on a two-hour drive to downtown Los Angeles, where the closest Erewhon resided. With the best artist of our era, Taylor Swift, blasting through my sound system, I sang at the top of my lungs for all the city to hear. After seeing Folklore’s album cover (it’s shot in a forest), I instantly knew she was my new favorite sustainable artist.
On the way back from Erewhon, I noticed Greta needed some fuel to keep her going; I guess even cars needed their smoothies. I pulled into the Shell station because the name Shell was cute, kind of like a seashell, and I love any reason to support our gorgeous oceans. After I finished feeding her, we headed to work.
At the office, I scribbled down an agenda. “Affirm my affirmations.” Check. “Pick up lunch.” Check. “Feed Greta.” Check. Now I just have to complete today’s task of printing and laminating 500 flyers to distribute around town, demanding citizens who care for their community to pick up their dog’s poop, which causes severe damage to the local greenery.
Not only do I believe that it is harmful to leave pet droppings behind, I believe that this negligence says volumes about a person’s character.
I would never, ever be so ignorant in my actions.
