Secretively Satirical: Friends with academic benefits

Since the beginning of online learning, I’ve started disregarding my schoolwork and started asking people for answers to assignments. This is a method I would really recommend if you are struggling in school, since it saves tons  of time. You can just get the answers instead of having to spend time and effort actually trying to figure them out yourself. 

Many claim  that this is a bad habit, as it makes you lazier and likely to fall behind in schoolwork. Contrary to popular belief, you actually take in  more information when you copy down other people’s answers. It makes you learn even faster, and it won’t even make you lazy because it takes a whole 5 or 10 minutes to write down the answers, highly increasing overall productivity. 

The only downside is how irritating and repetitive it gets to copy down answers. These irreplaceable minutes can be used on other activities that are actually important, like watching or making Tik Toks to exercise your creativity, or playing video games to improve your coordination. Fortunately, there is a perfect solution— asking other people to do the assignment for you.

If the person you ask is a true friend, they’ll definitely agree, since it’ll directly benefit you and I’m sure they’d be grateful to help out. But if they disagree, they are just fake friends forcing you to waste your precious time on pointless homework.

In the slight chance none of those work, simply submit the same assignment as your friends. Since assignments are online, if they send a picture of their work, you can screenshot and directly submit their pictures. You don’t even have to bother copying down the material and praying you don’t get caught. After all, if you do get caught, you can just blame it on them for copying you. The only grade that really matters anyways is your own, so you shouldn’t need to worry about what happens to others.

The only problem I usually encounter is when people say no, pretending they don’t have the homework or say they haven’t done it yet. This is simply ridiculous because what reason would you have to not send the answers? If you’ve already completed the assignment, it doesn’t hurt anyone if you take two seconds out of your day to help a friend. Not sending your work is extremely selfish and only harms others, and why would you not want to help out someone else in need and raise his or her grade?