Surreptitiously Satirical: Leveling the playing field

Surreptitiously+Satirical%3A+Leveling+the+playing+field

Cartoon Courtesy of HANNAH ZHOU

Ever since quarantine started in  March, my cheating skills have  greatly risen through constant practice. I am extremely thankful for this opportunity since cheating in school is an artform that I’ve been honing since freshman year.

Some people look down on students that cheat because they believe that cheating is unfair and a breach of integrity. Contrary to popular belief, I think cheating is an equalizer among students. Not all students are equally smart, have tutors or even the time to study. However, all students have the equal chance and ability to cheat on a test. This allows disadvantaged students to rightfully level the playing field. 

I still remember so many students complaining about a student (not me) ruining the curve on ridiculously hard math tests by getting perfect hundreds. That student simply shouldn’t care about other people’s grades in the class. To me, my grade is the only one that matters and if others are too lazy to cheat, they can only blame themselves for their bad grade. Why should the cheaters be the ones who get the hate when they work just as hard to secure a good grade?

I don’t think the average student understands how much work and planning goes into cheating. Looking back on it, some people I know (not me) probably spent a good two or three hours during school asking everyone for test answers. After that, they had to spend even more time memorizing all of those answers. 

The amount of dedication and time some of my fellow classmates spend working to get the answers definitely exceeds the amount of time others spend studying. The creativity students take to cheat knows no bounds. From stealing tests to changing test answers after submission to good old fashioned flash cards, I respect the amount of dedication students put into cheating. Those same people will be the ones to succeed in the future while the others get left behind due to fickle things like integrity and honesty.

More than anything, cheating also tests everyone’s ability to adapt to change, a skill extremely valuable in the real world. If you aren’t Googling answers during online tests or collaborating with classmates during finals, you’re not very smart. Imagine having the ability to cruise through all your classes but you still choose to take the harder path. All I can do is pray and wish the best for those poor and stubborn simple-minded children who still refuse to adapt to online learning.