Summatively Satirical: An AP-palling waste of time

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Ted Yarmoski, Opinion Editor

Every year when AP testing season rolls around, I see students studying and preparing months before the upcoming tests. I don’t understand why they spend time worrying about AP tests when they could just refuse to take them.

After spending my time and energy all year in class, not taking the AP test is the perfect way to relax after all of that hard work.

All of the late nights studying, hour-long lectures and chapter tests will soon become valuable experiences that will be paid off by not taking the AP test this May.

Instead of spending $94 for a measly test, I’m planning to pay the reasonable thousands to take the classes in college and guarantee credit, rather than risk failing the test and wasting all of my test money and hard work. I haven’t spoken to my parents about this decision but I assume they would agree with this fiscally responsible use of their money.

There’s less pressure on me when I only have to study a cumulative review for the class final and not spend time studying for the AP test.

I wouldn’t want to waste my energy on some silly College Board test when I could be focusing on a test that will impact my GPA.

As application season approaches, colleges will be able to detect my enthusiasm for attending.

Admissions officers will be blown away that I am so eager to take classes in college that I refused take credit for them through the AP exam.

With all of the thought and reasoning put into my decision not to take the test, I’m sure my teachers will recognize my genius and write me a brilliant letter of recommendation that highlights my informed choices.

They may also appreciate my full dedication toward their final, the exam that they worked all year to prepare me for.        

With the recent emphasis on wellness and stress-relief at the school, it only makes sense to relieve myself of the burden that the AP test would have on my well-being.

Why would I upset my emotional well-being by introducing more stress to the campus?

Furthermore, if the test changes every year and we all take it at the same time, how am I supposed to get answers from my friends? The College Board is clearly being unreasonable by expecting us to pass without this valuable help.

I hope that others will be receptive to my logic and reasoning and make the sensible decision to skip the AP test like I have chosen to do.