Blazing Trails of Satire: The heroes of Diamond Bar High School

Sasha Rivera, Asst. Editorial Editor

The strident shriek of the bell marks the end of class. My friends and I rejoice and trudge into the crowded hallway. As usual, we get into the typical formation; walking in line together and blocking the way behind us for other students. Of course, we don’t notice that they are inconvenienced; we are too occupied with important matters.

Did you hear? Stacy got asked to prom. We slow down our pace so we can better discuss this. Information like this is important, you know? We gossip and chatter, barely dragging our feet. We need to stay close, or someone might miss a detail. Gradually, other members of our clique join in, and now we are an intimidating mass; a walking traffic jam.

A groan echoes behind us and someone pushes me aside so that they can run past. Rude. These people need to learn to stop rushing and relax for once. There’s still loads of time left, after all. Just in case, I check my watch. There are only two minutes left, but no matter. That’s plenty of time; my class isn’t too far after all. Even if I am late, it’s no big deal. I still have two tardies left until detention, so I’m good until then. Who cares about being on time anyways? I’m not some pretentious goody-two-shoes. I don’t care about perfect attendance.

Why should I subject myself to the extra stress of crashing through the hallway and running over other people when I could be casually strolling with my friends? It’s far more relaxing to actually enjoy my life. I can take my time to admire the lovely architecture of the school or smell the small blossoms in the grass. The possibilities are endless. I’m so much happier this way.

Finally we reach the stairs and the narrow width forces us to break our formation. Oh well, at least we are all still together, although the occasional hurried passerby is quick to shove us apart. Carefully, I place each foot onto the steps. After all, I need to be careful on my way down or else I might fall! All the time I see people running down the stairs and it scares me. Those people are going to fall one of these days, mark my words. If I walk slowly though, then I won’t fall and others who are stuck behind me won’t be at risk of tumbling either. Aren’t I an absolute hero? I should be commended for my sluggish pace, not criticized.

The first bell rings, startling me slightly. It’s so late already? Well, I can already see my classroom, so no rush. My friends and I, unfortunately, must separate and go to our respective classes. I cherish those last few moments of being outdoors, as I stand right in the middle of the walkway. The other late students are forced to try and navigate around me, sending me nasty glares of betrayal. Then, the late bell rings and I begrudgingly make my way into class. While I have received yet another tardy, the peaceful stroll was worth it. Walking slowly was an experience that must be shared with all others. Let us all walk slowly and block the paths of others, and then we shall feel true serenity. Forget the stress and just take it easy.