Senior column: Hannah Jang

Hannah Jang, Asst. Feature Editor|May 17, 2023

You see, I’ve always wanted to write as if I work at the booming Buzzfeed corporation roaring downtown in our very own beloved City of Angels. Don’t get me wrong: I love “The Bull’s Eye”; but what I’ve always craved some more of was literary freedom—a writer’s freedom. Whatever level of satisfaction you might imagine that I receive on my end from hitting the semicolon key in the middle of that last sentence, which was undoubtedly arbitrary and maybe not even used entirely correctly, multiply that number by 1212 times. Throw in an extra 666 points for my integration of a colon and an em dash in that same sentence! Personally, I’ve never seen anyone dare to attempt the dangerous triple combo in a Bull’s Eye article; and probably because it doesn’t really work.

There are no rules, though. To life I mean. For you, reader, just for you, I’ll be your average existential-crisis-and-epiphany-having high school senior and guide you through your life. So long as you give me permission to undertake this mission, I fully invite you to keep this article as a bucket list and physically mark it up. Also, use an original black Sharpie for that main character feel.

Without any further delay, I present to you a list of what I recommend you do in this lifetime before transitioning into your next reality of consciousness (if you believe in that reincarnation type of thing):

  • Watch “The Truman Show” starring Jim Carrey.
  • Tell two people all the good things you think about them but go unsaid. I don’t care that it’s cheesy. They probably need it in some shape or form.
  • Break any rule of your choice.
  • Watch just one episode of “New Girl.”
  • Dare to tell me you’re not hooked after watching one episode of “New Girl.”
  • Stay at a concert until either your lungs have given out, you’ve bid sayonara to your eardrums, or your voice has begun to crack.
  • Try the crab rangoons at Thai Twist.
  • Watch “The Pursuit of Happiness” starring Will and Jaden Smith.
  • Listen to “Pursuit of Happiness” by Kid Cudi at least once daily until the end of your high school experience.
  • Pursue happiness.
  • Drink a Monster. But listen carefully: the Ultra White Zero Sugar one.
  • Close your eyes and listen to HZ frequency songs. Go on and watch your day become 10x better.
  • Go to a rage room to take care of anything the HZ frequencies didn’t magically cure.
  • Talk to a tree, a cloud or the moon. 
  • This may be leaning too much into what personally makes me happy. Continue this list on your own. Find what makes you happy and not anyone else.

Whatever happens, just remember: There are no rules.