Skeptically Satirical: Achieving the impossible

As a student at an incredibly advanced high school full of only the brightest individuals in the nation, I have distinguished myself by earning incredibly sought-after awards and winning prestigious competitions. One of my proudest achievements is becoming a member of Top 10, a position awarded by our school’s USB.

All 11 of us who applied to be in the Top 10 struggled incredibly hard against fierce competition to earn our spots. Against all odds, I managed to beat out the one student who forgot to fill out half of the application, securing the title of  one of the top minds in my school.

In addition to this, I am en route to become a valedictorian, maintaining a 4.0 GPA even while I’m taking rigorous courses such as  TAing for my GLC and Pre-Algebra. Constantly passing call slips to teachers takes a toll on my mental health, especially given the amount of studying required to learn where every teacher’s room is, but I persevered. 

After getting a 5 on my Calculus BC exam, I decided to take my mathematical prowess to the next level with Pre-Algebra, a class where I learned all sorts of new concepts, like graphing linear equations.

I even managed to make time between all of that studying to create a club with a total of three members. It was difficult to decide who would become president of the Left-Handed Note Taking Club among me, a lefty, and the two right-handed friends I roped in. We never had a single meeting, but that’s OK. All that matters is that I started a club and made a permanent change to my community.

I also accumulated 200 volunteer hours through various clubs.  In accruing them, I truly connected with members of my community—though it was through asking for soda tabs, which, in large quantities, are worth over 100 volunteer hours a year—and learned valuable moral lessons about giving to the poor no matter how much work it takes.

Another way I gave back to my community was tutoring. I led struggling students to discover the true beauty of math and science by helping them with their homework every Friday. 

It’s completely irrelevant that they happened to be my friends or that all I did was show them my homework because I didn’t charge them a single cent—I helped them out of the pure kindness of my heart.

Through all of these accomplishments, I think it’s clear what level of achievement I’ve reached and how hard it was to earn my awards. Take my word for it.