Satire: Dress Code

Ingrid Chan, Staff Writer

There are not enough words to describe how grateful I am for the safety that our school dress code guarantees us.

Exposed midriffs and bare shoulders should be the least of our worries when the use of hoods, hats, and beanies on campus can possibly throw our entire student body into peril. To wear this sort of headgear is to blatantly disregard the well-being of our fellow schoolmates since potential criminals can successfully sneak onto school grounds by simply donning the hazardous cap, or pulling on the ever suspicious hood whilst leaving well over half their face exposed. These life threatening situations call for the banning of all headwear on campus.

Of course, these concerns are completely invalid as long as the letters DBHS are printed on your clothing. With but a single glance at these four simple characters, there can be absolutely no doubting that you are a genuine Diamond Bar High School student, and not at all any kind of a dastardly villain; because who in their right mind would wear clothing branded with the DBHS logo if not a student themself?

Not only does this magical school acronym ward off dangers that may be lurking left and right, but it is also an effective way to show your enthusiasm in a school with a student body that is otherwise always filled with unfailing school spirit.

Just toss away those sad hats and hoods that have the misfortune of lacking the signature DBHS letters. With such tasteless fashion and obvious safety hazards, there is no question as to why they should be forbidden. After all, hats can cast shadows over facial features and cover foreheads, while hoods make it nearly impossible to recognize someone from behind, therefore these accessories must not be allowed — because hair obviously doesn’t do exactly the same thing.

Why waste your time and energy on any other product? Get your own DBHS clothing articles now and say hello to a better and improved school environment!