After having lived a long, fruitful nineteen years on this earth, I can confidently say that I have discovered the key to happiness.

What is this secret to happiness, you ask? It’s quite simple: enjoy life while you can. In other words, if there are tasks to be completed, by all means, don’t do them now. In fact, don’t do them in the next hour either. Don’t do them until you have spent the very last second before the deadline indulging in what gives you the purest, shrillest satisfaction.

The truth is, you don’t have to spend five arduous hours on something that can swiftly be thrown together in five minutes, so why work today when it can be done tomorrow?

Most people are natural procrastinators because it’s in all of our genes. Our procrastinating instincts date all the way back to our primitive ancestors, who needed to be impulsive for hunting wild game.

If you have ever worked in a classroom setting, you may have noticed certain pitiful colleagues who are eager to start on large projects immediately as they are assigned. Those poor, naïve individuals have bought into lies that tell them that overcoming their proclivity to procrastinate by starting earlier leads to efficiency and quality. In truth, a coterie of extremely credible scientists have shared that such suppression of human nature leads to a combination of depression and mental disorders of many kinds.

And perhaps you are that pitiful student. While the birds are chirping outside on a sunny, spring day, you’re indoors, slaving away on your homework. I can’t even begin to express the tremendous sorrow I feel for your ignorance and meaningless efforts.

The further you push back work that needs to be done, the more you’ll enjoy doing it. This furious attempt of yours to finish exactly on the dot, without a minute to spare is what makes life worth living.

Under terrible time constraint, let your brain and fingers work madly under utmost pressure. Feel the rush of adrenaline and thrashing blood surge through your veins. The thrill! The suspense! Your life of bore and mundane repetition will rejuvenate in ecstasy with the fierce palpitations of your heart as you speed through  your tasks before the due date.

If you can master the art of procrastination, life will be a breeze and a blast. Say goodbye to fretting over receiving a lower-than-expected grade like those who “diligently” started early, since you wouldn’t have tried anyway.

Who cares if you see your grades go down a couple letters, end up dropping out of college, or get fired from your job? At least you know you have lived a rich and content life, full of gratification and with absolutely no regrets.