Kong’s Korner: Good for Nothing Grammys


courtesy of theweek.co.uk


Every field of entertainment has its symbolic awards show that serves as the premiere night to celebrate its achievements. Films have the Academy Awards, television shows have the Emmys, and together, they have the Golden Globes. What about music? What award goes to the most successful artist of that year? The answer is Grammys, the single greatest example of a progressive liberal society that presents awards to those who don’t deserve it.

The Grammys used to stand for something. Artists used to drool over the thought of holding the gilded gramophone by the end of the night. Now, it seems, everyone who is nominated can expect to walk out of the building with a least one of these worthless trophies. I will give the Grammys some credit. They cut down the number of award categories from 108 to 78 in the past year. Still… an awards show that hands out 78 total awards in one night? That means that over the history of this “Awards” show, close to 6,000 gramophones have been handed out to artists. Might as well buy my own plastic Grammy and pretend that it’s the real thing.

Who exactly determines the winners of the awards anyway? There are even some music categories that I never knew existed before I saw this year’s list of winners. Best Tropical Latin Album? Best Zydeco Album? How do you exactly make an album “Tropical?” My best guess is to slap a Palm Tree on the album cover art and hope a Grammy falls into my hands. Unless there are “Tropical” music experts out there that actually spend time and analyze the “tropicalness” of an album, that is the only reasonable criteria, that I can think of, to win the award! And what in the world is zydeco?

After looking up the winners for past “Song of the Year” award, I have concluded that this particular category is based purely on popularity. I mean, this category includes every single song that was released the past year. Who’s to say that a Tropical Latin song or a Zydeco song is actually better than a Pop song? What if a classical piece, with violins and cellos, has better musical qualities than a song by Kanye West or Beyonce? There cannot possibly be a set criteria that encompasses all genres of music which is what makes the Grammys absolute garbage.

The awards show itself is ridiculous. Performances used to be i worth watching (Michael Jackson’s performance of “Man in the Mirror” or Green Day’s performance of “American Idiot”). They had Taylor Swift open the show this year!!!  ENOUGH SAID!!

What makes the Grammys special? Nothing… at least in my eyes. The only thing that is keeping this show running year after year is its long history and tradition. A Grammy used to mark a significant achievement in music, but now, its value has run dry—close to worthless.