Selflessly Satirical: Extensions until the end of time


Cartoon Courtesy of HEATHER MA

After a year of lenient teachers, lulled into extending deadlines by my persuasive tendencies, I have lost all my time management skills. Instead of learning math or science, I learned that teachers are always willing to extend deadlines to fit my schedule, knowledge I will use to my advantage come this school year. 

For one, my summer work is nowhere close to finished, even though summer break is. Previous years have seen me stressed out, frantically rushing to complete it, but this summer, my assignments are no less than forgotten, hidden away in my computer files. Besides, there’s no reason to worry when I’ll probably have another two months to work on it anyway.

I think I speak for all of my classmates when I say that deadlines set months before are unrealistic this year. How are we supposed to complete our homework, play video games and binge watch Netflix, when we no longer have so much free time? If anything, teachers should work to accommodate the poor time management habits that every student has inevitably picked up over distance learning. 

As a born leader, I can ensure that every teacher will give us the extensions we are entitled to, through persistent emails and individual meetings. I may even promise that I will manage my time better, which, of course, will never actually happen. There’s no way I will have any time to complete assignments and study for tests when two hours of my day will be dedicated to trying to convince my six teachers to extend their impractical deadlines.

You would think my hard work would earn me praise from all of my classmates. However, when my in-person summer school teacher announced the usual extensions, some of my ungrateful classmates complained about how they stayed up late for nothing. Fortunately, the gratitude from more sound-minded students was enough to motivate me to continue doing God’s work, alleviating stress and granting the gift of time to the students who need it most. 

From teachers, I expect nothing less than sympathy for the many obstacles students will face in the upcoming school year. If somehow, against all odds, our struggles are ignored and the expected extensions are not granted, we students will have no choice but to prioritize easier classes over boring ones. Then, the only people to blame for our failing grades will be our teachers.