Year gone by

During my two full years at the prestigious Diamond Bar High School, I heard two phrases at least once every day without failure: “How many hours of sleep did you get?” and  “See you at Mt. SAC.”

It’s no secret that DBHS is filled to the brim with intense competition and pressure. It seems that everyone here wants to rule the world, starting with setting the curves for tests. It’s reached a point where eye bags and tired faces are expectations rather than concerns.

I’m surrounded by friends who fall right into the stereotype of this overachieving, zombie-like student. Naturally, it’s pushed me to become the same and take classes that might be pushing my limits. What’s different about me is that despite being just as physically worn out as the others, the pay off isn’t the same.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year, it’s that some people are just simply superior. No matter how much I pour my soul into my grades, it’s just never going to match natural brightness. To an outsider, I would be considered an above-average student, but here, I don’t meet the qualifications to be considered a “smart kid.”

This entire year, I’ve probably studied more than I’ve slept, and only achieved mediocre grades. I’ve realized that things just click better for some people, and that’s the end of it. I’ve spent most of the year sitting in class drowning in cluttered information, only to find out that others found it to be neatly organized. I’ve never been hit with so much anxiety, anger and disappointment in my entire life than I have after every single exam I’ve taken this year.

Nothing hurts more than studying a week in advance and seeing someone who crammed ten minutes before the test get a higher score than you. For me, this would then lead to serious frustration and self-hatred. But after the hellish chaos of finals was over and after resorting to degrading actions such as pleading teachers to round my grades, I’ve found that it’s easier to come to terms with it. At this point, I’ve realized the only thing to do is accept the fact that there really is nothing I can do, but do my best, as cliché as it is.

The cold hard truth is that some people are just smarter than others, and there’s nothing more to it. No matter how sleep deprived you are from studying or how many Quizlet sets you’ve made, someone will always be better. It might be the end of the world for some, but there’s nothing you can do and that’s just how unfair and rotten life is. And the truth is, no one really cares about how many hours or minutes of sleep you got the night before.

Junior year is notorious for being the most challenging year of high school, and I’m ready to welcome all the agony with open arms.