16 & Driving

When I turned 16, I learned two things: nothing about being 16 is sweet, and car commercials are the biggest lies on TV.

If intersections, pedestrians, narrow and unmaintained roads, and other drivers didn’t exist, then being on the road would be just as dandy and ethereal as automobile commercials depict it to be. However, the real world sucks, all of those things exist, and all of them are inevitable.

You would think that the government would be smart about who they let loose on the roads. I am probably one of the least qualified people to even sit in a driver’s seat; my go-to response to any situation is panic, and I am one of the most uncoordinated, slowest, and clumsiest people to exist. Despite all the red flags and three glorious visits to the DMV, I received my driver’s license two weeks ago.

I’ve actually been driving for more than half a year now with my permit, and I still feel like I’m going to severely injure myself and every other driver in a close proximity. That being said, I still don’t trust myself to drive alone, and neither do my parents.

However, I am not the only problem. I’ve quickly realized that there are completely mindless people behind the wheel, even more so than myself.

I’ve learned that no one follows the law. Going at the proper speed limit usually equals to being tailgated by some driver with no time management who  wants to go 20 miles over it. Just in case it wasn’t clear enough already, speed limits are there for a purpose, and no matter how pressured I feel, I am not risking a speeding ticket just to please a self-absorbed tailgater.

The logical thing would be to let them pass, however I do not have the kindest heart, and I think revenge is sweet. As soon as I notice that a car is a little too close to me while I am going at a perfectly legal speed, I slow down even more, simply to be a jerk.

Also, to everyone who changes lanes every second to get to the front: Congratulations, you just got to your destination approximately five seconds earlier by cutting everyone off, I hope you’re proud of yourself. And if you’re going to do that, for all that is good and holy, please take the half second to turn on your signal. No car company just spontaneously decided one day to install signals just for decoration. I understand that I have no business in knowing where they’re going, but it does become a very slight problem when they almost ram into three cars in an intersection.

Also, the law is that honking is only used for situations to alert someone that they are in danger. Please stop blaring horns at me because I switched lanes; that’s kind of what happens on a street.

The government was smart enough to have established a test to assess driving abilities, and that’s great. But how about really stepping it up and assessing people to see if they can drive without being a selfish, temperamental imbecile who throws tantrums when they can’t have their own way?