October 12, 2016
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It is a miserable sight to see endless bickering between two uncompromising political parties, true debate in Washington reduced to ad-hominem attacks. Consequently, a frustrating stalemate is effected, a state in which lawmaking is inefficient and both executive and legislative branches are rendered ineffective.
The so-called United States of America is an ironic name, for united we are not. The government is deeply divided over political, social and economic issues. Political polarization, as it’s called, has only worsened over the past few decades, and extends far beyond the government to the public itself. Indeed, any hope of reconciliation between the two sides is lost as the right continues to move to the right, and the left consequently moves to the left. This situation calls for drastic measures.
I do humbly propose that the United States of America be divided into two different countries based on the differing political factions. More specifically, I propose that the Missouri Compromise be brought back, that the United States of America be split into the North and the South across the 36°30’ line. Any state that is caught in the middle of the line, such as California, will simply be split. The North shall be run by the Democratic party, and the South shall be run by the Republican party. The states of Alaska and Hawaii will be given the choice of whichever government they wish to be under. Before one starts to wave this proposal as absurd, one must first consider the rationality of such a proposal and the potential benefits.
For one, my proposal (I’m certain) will achieve national consensus. So much dislike has arisen from one party to the other, from one whose political affiliation contrasts from another, that both sides will be glad to put a metaphorical wall between them. There will be significantly less conflict between neighbors, between governors, should everyone hold the same political platform. Bills in both the North and South will pass nearly instantaneously. Much progress will be achieved. Both sides are satisfied. It’s a win-win situation.
This does bring into question, however, what happens to those in the South who are Democrats and to those in the North who are Republicans. I believe it is in the interest of both parties to initiate a large deportation program, a program in which Democrats living in the South or Republicans in the North will be able to immigrate to the North or South, respectively, and receive financial compensation for whatever they leave behind. Such a transfer would be expensive indeed, but the reward in the end-true, utter division-far outweighs the cost. And besides, the cost can be split between the Republican and Democratic governments. Democrats will tax the top 1 percent by 99 percent, and Republicans will tax the poor.